Advice?
I need advice, and not wanting to write a book, but some back ground info.
My Wife of 25 years is what I deem a FA or functioning alcoholic. I've ignored it for years, like 8-10 she drinks every night and we rarely do anything social because she over does the drink when ever is that atmosphere. We have 3 boys 24,22,17, all who have learned from Dad to ignore it. She went back to work 2 years ago, after years of being stay home mom for over 20 years, and the drinking did get better(less), but still every night she has to drink. Every weekend she just lays in bed doing nothing. We would have the occasional argument that she drinks to much, to which, the standard excuses where used. Then she would just go on as usual.
So then why you may ask am I now so concerned. well 2 weeks before our 25th anniversary, I find she's having an emotional affair with her boss, no sex, just some hugging and pecks. I've asked her to quit her job, which we don't need financially, but she won't, she tells me it the only thing she has in her life and she does not want to go back to being so depressed like she was prior to working. She also says that she stopped with him and she loves me and want everything back like it was years ago. Thing between us have been very good since the discovery, but she's still there with the scumbag.
Here is where I need advice, my counselor and everyone I speak to says the affair was because of the drink, and unless that stops, it doesn't matter what else we talk about the lies will always be there. I'm hoping for all of your experiences if anyone can say this is true, or am i just denying the fact of the affair. It kills me everyday that she goes to work with the scumbag.
My Boys and I plan to sit with her Tuesday night and let her know we're there to help support her, but she has a drinking problem and I have a couple counselors names she can speak to get help. The boys know to talk about how they feel, not to provoke an argument with Mom, I'm hoping when she hears and see how everyone is concerned she realizes how serious this truly it.
Thanks for your feedback