Yes. I agree. My friends who are the most successful and balanced would never date or spend much time with an A. They see the signs/red flags and do not engage. They don't even see it as an option. A friend who saw issues with my exA was like well I guess you know now so its over. It wasn't. I needed a few more years of the chaos. Kind of like the new folks who post bad situations here or people that cannot seem to leave but their A is not in recovery and we say so when are you leaving? The healthier you are, the less tolerant of the chaos you are...IMO.