Hun, it is simple.... hard, but simple... TURN OFF your mobile, KEEP IT OFF, give it to one of your kids if one of them is old enough, put it in the most akward place you can think of if theyre not! Just dont answer...
You wont get answers to your questions.. at least not from him, i DID get answers, and believe me, i dont like them. At first i felt rage/anger/fury over the explanation.. but i had asked for it over and over and eventually got it: it had nothing to do with ME and everything with AH liking to be high, wanting the drugs and then after a while, NEEDING them. Im none the happier knowing these things, in fact, that has opened a whole different can of worms for me.
You need to try and do what we all here did... STAY OFF THAT CRAZY TRAIN. The first day, its hard, unexplainably hard, i ended up sobbing in the shower for 45 minutes, then took 2 hours to do my hair, then hopped on here, then made endless cups of coffee... anything to stay on my little platform and to NOT board that train. I waved it goodbye as it left the station.
The next day, it was a little easier... though i did end up getting right back on that ride around dinner time.
Now, 2 weeks in (with the help of some meds) and you can normally find me here on my platform... ive put a blog post about it up, read it if you like
You need to decide for YOURSELF that enough is enough, and YOU need to take control of YOU..
I do detect some DV (at the very least there seems to be emotional abuse involved here) so if that is the case, please ring the Domestic Violence Hotline.. they WILL listen and understand.
To answer your question, again, yes, he IS manipulating you, yes, he IS playing mind games with you, yes, he IS controlling the situation from all angles... now, for your and your kids' sake, take back that control over YOU. You cannot and will not control HIM but YOU can change how you react to these situations.