Originally Posted by
CodeJob 
Hammer, if you were in my meeting I would be cross talking and cutting up.
so let's compare notes.
I've been thinking why I stay.
1. Fear of failure. Coming to grips with spirituality/sin of divorce.
Well, we never really were married, and at this point she is lying to her work place that she is a divorced single mother. Yunno, the struggle and burden.
This of course, is the same Local Rehab where I do the Alanon Family program.
2. Fear I still love him though this feeling is transient (damn my heart)
That "fear" is fading fast. See, the way things are suppose to work is "To Love and Be Loved." Users do not love anyone but themselves and that/whom they are using. And even that is doubtful in this case.
3. Realization I'd just pick another emotionally mucked up partner (devil u know)
Probably, Absolutely, Not.
4. Family unit - lack of family in area to help/support so single mom is SOLO
Far more concerned about the Drama / Trauma she would/will inflict on the kids.
5. Comfort in routine - divide of work/cost of living by a dedicated partner
I would not know about that. In general, she supports as little as she can, takes all she can, and does the least she can. No dedication at all. Unless it is on some major destructive tear.
6. Fear of being alone - though I feel this way in relationship
She used to be my Little Buddy. But once a Borderline has been given all there is, then they try to take all there may be. She in the negative numbers, already.
7. This man is my best friend and in some ways he does know me better than anyone
I have thought that in the past, but her brain has been so whacked since Rehab, some days I think she may not even know where/who she is.
8. Fear of making a final decision
I do not tend to operate in fear. Has made part of the 4th Step hard.
9. Fear of abandonment - mine and his
That is what borderlines operate upon.
10. I promised time - I've made it to Step 4 in 11 mo so I try to focus on me and not RAH
Yep. Doing my Steps. Part of what has me thinking