Originally Posted by
MissFixit 
If AH lost his job tomorrow and drank/frittered your savings away, then how would feel about being on your own financially? From what you write (the trip with your son) he is a big spender with little regard to budgeting or realistic finances. Realistically (with my experience with a big spending A), it seems likely that money might become an issue in the future if you are together.
I understand the finger pointing. For me it lessens with time and with focus on myself (because I just don't care about what he does/did for the most part) However, I will always be able to say he drank, he lied, he spent, he did this or that. I was the "good" dutiful one. Yet, look where being the good one got me... Tying yourself forever to an A is a dangerous thing to do in my experience.
You know what's funny about AH? He was always so miserly and a tightwad for all of our marriage. We don't have any toys(boats, 4 wheelers, etc): just a house and 2 cars and our cars are a bit older and paid off. He doesn't buy extravagant things for himself and has no hobbies except for tennis. We belong to a tennis club since all 3 of us play and we spend money on that particular sport, but in reality he is not someone I would consider being careless with money.
I think that's why this whole trip thing really threw me for a loop. Well, also when he was thinking about buying that house back in December and taking on another $200K in debt. It just seems so out of character for him. A month after the whole house buying thing, our microwave broke and we were debating over whether to get it fixed or to replace it and he freaked out over the cost of a new one. All I kept thinking was, "Wow, this was the same guy who was thinking of buying a new single family home and taking on HUGE amounts of debt and he's sitting here griping over replacing a $500 microwave?"
So, I then tell myself, "Quit trying to make sense out of nonsense!"
I understand where you're going and I often think of what would happen if he lost his job. I really need to take some time to figure out how I will handle things in the future: both emotionally and financially.