Originally Posted by Stung

You're all hitting on points that ring very true for me (…I say this typing from my bed with both kids in it watching cartoons…5:45 AM wake up call anyone, we'll go bake breakfast and get our day started at 7:00 like other non nocturnal creatures).



I'm in this place right now with my 2 year old and it is something that I have been so completely against since I became a parent. I just was so exhausted from dealing with the alcoholic drama and then baby DD was born and since then I've been letting DD2 have her way more often than I should. I'm trying to back peddle with her now, but that takes much more effort than letting her have her way. Even worse, when RAH is here he really lets her walk all over him because he feels guilty for being away. We're in some bad cycles in this regard.



This is also me, and I'm struggling with this. My husband, for all intents and purposes, is being a really good guy lately. I'll be honest though, I'm afraid to enjoy and take advantage of it. It's leaving me with this weird feeling now though that he's getting a lot better and now I'm stuck. I think I need to just take advantage of things as they are - good - and stop being afraid that they're going to change - bad. The only bad in this family at the moment is from me, to me, caused by me.

Firesprite, last night I actually found a bit you wrote that was spot on for me:



I am poor me-ing like crazy right now. Poor single mom me. While it is challenging, I do have some opportunities here to give myself what I need and I am just not taking the opportunities.

I was reading a little bit about self sabotage and to my MAJOR shock and revelation, shopping is a huge self sabotage theme (I shop and "treat" myself with shopping all the time, funny that all that shopping isn't really making me feel any better even though I tell myself it is. I'm just stuffing my closets grossly beyond capacity) and I feel no hesitation about buying myself "stuff" but I feel guilty at the idea of getting a $20 pedicure. [And I've kind of previously noticed earlier this week that I've been shopping more than really necessary this week and last and funny how I'm feeling like crap right now. I'm trying to feel better in a way that doesn't help anything at all and completely ignoring what I really do need. Self sabotage.]

Today, I'm going to go force myself to go get a pedicure and then go take a yoga class and then sit in the steam room. Because I KNOW that happy mom = happy kids but I'm not practicing what I so often preach. Time to make some ch-ch-ch-changes.

Thank you again, peeps. Seriously don't know what I would do without you guys!