It is taking me a long time to come to grips with what happened to me. I was still surprised, last week, when my therapist congratulated me for recognizing I'd been in an abusive relationship--my first thought was, 'are you sure I'm right about that?' !!!!
The time to get out may seem logical--the lowest possible point, the worst abuse. But How the hell do you get the confidence to upend your children and yourself, after years of being told how incompetent and stupid and wrong you are?
And then, the world says, "If you don't leave him, fight him in court, stand up to him then you are..... incompetent and stupid and wrong."
It's only as I delve into normal life that I see how manipulated and destroyed I was. Within the alcoholic family system, it felt normal, and mostly bearable. A great post. We don't need people telling us what to do. We need people telling us we are strong, and capable of doing what we know in our hearts is right.