when did you start calling yourself an alcoholic?
I'm sorry if this is an obvious / stupid / very individual question.
But, at what point did you use the word alcoholic to describe yourself ? I have used that word to describe myself to others as I think it is the simplest way of explaining my relationship with alcohol to people I don't want to discuss it with, but I still somehow feel like I don't really "qualify" as an alcoholic. I don't know if this is the denial part of me talking, or if really I am "just" a problem drinker, a binge drinker, (or are these all the same thing?) which one day will evolve in to a fully blown alcoholic.
I have never been physically addicted to alcohol. I can go for a week or so without drinking and be pretty ok if I avoid others drinking (3 weeks is when I start tearing my hair out and thinking about it all the time). I never drank in the morning. But then on the flip side, I binge heavily, I use alcohol to deal with my issues, to talk to people, to have sex, to cry. I have nearly killed myself multiple times through alcohol, getting in cars with drunk strangers/friends, have ruined relationships with it. I began triggering nosebleeds just by sitting up in the morning whilst on binges, so it's obviously messing my body up.
I just don't know wether I will be able to come to terms with this word the longer I stay sober (8 days in!!) or if I am just jibbering because it's in my head.