Cow, I lost my sister to an OD. She was just 46. She had 3 young children. I choose to believe it was an accident. But I'll never know for sure. But you are very wise to consider your loving brother when this thought occurs to you. He will never get over it as I have not. Love is very powerful. Let him love you and you hang on to him for dear life. He needs you and you need him. Do you let him in on your real life or do you pretend all is well when you see him?