Originally Posted by
cleaninLI 
I've had quite a few relationships before I was married. One thing I've learned is that when one of my past bf's made up all kinds of excuses to break up, it meant he wasn't into me. For whatever reason he didn't want to give it to me straight. Perhaps he didn't want to hurt my feelings or he wanted to keep the door slightly ajar so that if he should feel lonely or need me I would be there? The man that was into me, (my present husband) never did these types of things. Is this the type of relationship you want for yourself? Is this the kind of treatment you deserve? Seriously think about what's going on here. You have a guy that is there for you during "fun" times. But that's about it.
It's so easy to use the addiction as an excuse for bad behavior. Its not. The picture you just painted of your ABF doesn't reflect this description. "I started dating the most wonderful, sweetest, loving, tender and intelligent man a little over 7 months ago."
The sweetest, loving, wonderful man wouldn't be picking fights with you over nothing, he wouldn't makeup excuses to breakup with you over and over again, and he wouldn't be picking up his DOC over and over again. You wouldn't feel all these hurtful emotions either.
Like the above posters mentioned, start concentrating on you instead of him. What are YOUR hopes and dreams? What are YOU looking for in a relationship? If you put the focus back on you and start thinking about your needs....your choices ..and your life you will see things much clearer.
I want to clarify that the description of the relationship was extremely general, because to detail every occasion would be a task in itself. That is why I have to disqualify the idea that he was only there for me during the "fun times" because he was definitely there for me when things weren't very happy for me either (death of friend, loss of career opportunity, etc). And as cliche as this may sound, his family has made it clear that I am the first he has brought home and introduced as his GF, something he hadn't even done with the mother of his child. Even knowing that has made me see how much more dysfunctional he had been in the past bc I can't comprehend the idea of his family never formally meeting his kid's mom until after she gave birth. It gives me hope that he is trying to get better (and I hope he does) but I have to let him do it the way he feels he can really do it, and if that is on his own, I am going to give him that and live my life.