Hi Lulu, I'm in a similar position to you. I was, at times, screaming for alcohol but on the outside serene and calm, a bit like a swan.
My husband said I could talk to him when I told him I come here but when I try to start to explain he doesn't really want to know or doesn't understand, not sure which.
So, I vent frustrations out here or reD posts which are familiar to me and, in a way, feel comforted I'm not on my own.
I'm a few months down the line and it is getting easier but sometimes the cravings and madness enters my head but I'm learning to go through the feelings. I'm sure it will get better for you too.