I really really respect you for this post and your honesty. I come from his position in my marriage which just ended, but that's another story. My husband hid it from me. When I asked if he was OK I just generally meant are you drinking, are you ok to drive, that type of thing.
What I told him is this and I think it applies in your case too. As a spouse, and you have hinted yours is codependent as I have been, we are just too close to the situation to hear all of your thoughts and feelings about this because it will trigger ours and then we are all a mess. This is why one needs a sponsor who can understand. I told my husband that while I will always encourage him, I cannot be the one he comes to for those type of things.
It would also likely help your spouse to go to Alanon or Celebrate Recovery or a program to get support for the codependency also.
If this applies to you, I am betting you could say the same and he would get it. I hope you have a sponsor who can support you during your times of need that you need understanding. I wish you success with your recovery!
Good Luck and God Bless!