Hey 2much
I don;t feel let down - I know first hand how hard it is.
Most of the time, I don't share with people if I am not doing well.
I think this is your big red X marks the spot.
I was never good at asking for help either - I thought I was a burden, a pain, a nuisance....and that was borne out to me a few times when I tried to reach out and got nothing back.
I realise now either I was reaching out to the wrong people, or I was expecting too much from them.
I wanted/expected ppl to fix me - and that's my job, really, with their help - not the other around.
I dunno what your experience is but I'm sure you can identify with at least of those?
I really believe you can do this 2 much.
Pull out of this dive before it gets too dark and deep.
Dump whatever booze you have left and talk to us
D