"one was too many and one thousand wasn't enough"....this is sooo true and extremely well put! Thanks all for your kind words and support...if you have anymore advice, please share it! I think another huge factor for me is pressure from others, I'm not week minded however, maybe I'm greedy...don't want the fun to end? So I end up coming home, after working, not seeing my family and "going over to a friends house to help him move a fridge" OR "Going to the gym"...those lies aren't me but I go to SOOO much lengths to make them real for the sake of drinking....I don't understand?