Great to hear you're still going strong Blake. It sounds to me like you've always wanted to serve and protect others/your people and are just realizing that you are one of those people. You are worthy of your service and protection. You sound like a lovely person. I suspect the anger is kicking in because the shock and panic are subsiding. For me anger has been part of a healing process and allowing myself to feel it and process it helped me let go. I've found, in my experience, many forms of trauma have similar stages of healing, whether it's been because of abuse, being conned by my ex, death of loved one, damage I've done to myself etc.