Good ideas, but in my case that's greatly overthinking it. I love drinking but I can't handle the consequences. If I could drink like normal people I would but I can't so it's not within the realm of possibilities. I may as well wish that I could turn invisible or surf the universe on my board via the Power Cosmic. Booze is impersonal, just a chemical like hydrogen or benzine. It carries no agency or moral power. It's not good or evil, it's just there; like a hammer be used to build a barn or cave in someone's skull, the ethical nature of alcohol can only be found in its use.
However, I would encourage anyone to adopt any narrative that helps them stay sober. In this case, maybe better a beautiful lie that ennobles us than an empty truth.