Live,
Once again thank you for taking the time to help me out. You seem to have a higher level of knowledge than myself and I really appreciate your insight.
You're probably right about my pdr not getting angry and working with me. I wish he would take more time with me as he spends at the most 15 minutes and is fairly focused on medications and whether they should be changed. I get nervous when I am talking to him and have a lot of difficulty recalling details that are pertinent. A couple of months ago I got very upset when the UPS driver didn't deliver my meds scheduled to be delivered on a Friday. I called up UPS and ripped them and demanded they return and deliver them that day. They wouldn't do it and later offered to let me pick them up on Saturday. As I talked to the UPS dispatcher I could feel my body and mind going full blown manic in just a matter of minutes with all the classic symptoms. I couldn't stop it or calm myself initially but got it under control by going into a dark room listening to relaxing music and meditating. I had to be real quiet for a few days but got it under control. This time I documented everything and took it to my pdr. He only listened to about 30 secs, said I was manic and made a med change and that was it.
I am usually depressed and have very few days of being asymptomatic. You are right about my depression, it is severe and has been for a long time. I'm not sure why but it usually starts from negative thoughts about everything and difficulty in enjoying myself or finding happiness in just about anything.
I will get through this but just wish it would lighten up.
Thanks!