C'mon get to a meeting and listen to the other people in the room, you will find a lot of similarities which, for me, was a big relief! Keep going to meetings drinking or not, don't be put off by anyone and notice the people who have decent lengths of sobriety and seem happy.
I could never last long by myself when I tried to stop drinking, it might be a few days it might be a few months but at some point I would think that life is so ****/dull/boring/unbearable/miserable/lonely that I might as well take a drink and then I was on that roller coaster again!
You can turn this around honestly and it's going to take you changing and doing something different this time. Let us know how you get on:-)