I would highly recomend Alanon, or another family support group, and the family support groups here. There are no easy or guaranteed answers, and talking to others in your situation is probably the best action you can take. Try to find someone you trust who is has been through this (or still is). This should help you get outside your own emotions and see what others have done and how its gone for them. In this way you will have some support if and when you decide to take action.
Best of wishes