Same for me...I had no idea it was ok to let go of him, break up, whatever. It was like I didn't know I had the choice not to be with someone anymore if I was unhappy. I just kept continuing on in the relationship like this was just it for me, how my life was going to be from then on. Lillamy you are also right, I lost trust in my own emotions and decisions, because I had been told for so long that I was the problem, etc, that I no longer trusted my own feelings and self. I am still working on learning to live the way I want, regardless of what others think. So hey, to hell with all those toxic people..I just pushed them the bleep out of my life. I'd rather be alone than unhappy...isn't that how the song goes (Whitney Houston or something)? And hell no, I did not need anyone's permission to protect my kids.