Originally Posted by CodeJob

Christina,

You seem so lost it pains me. Why don't you write a list of the traits your perfect partner would have. From ideal looks to sense of humor to their moral code. Just write down a summary of your Mr. Perfect.

Now write all the disappointments you have had with your X. Do NOT split the addict self from his other self. They are stuck in the same body and you have no control over which part of him is 'winning'.

I imagine there is quite a mismatch in this comparison. So what are you getting out this relationship? Have you tried a therapist or Al Anon? Maybe some local face to face support might really help you and ground you. Do you have local family that are supportive? I hope so.

But let's go back to your Mr. Perfect list. Keep it. Pray about it. Might as well ask your God to help you grow and learn so you will be able to recognize a worthwhile partner when you are ready. Do your work with the faith things can get better.

Take what you want and leave the rest.