You are right, you cannot do this to yourself anymore. Good for you for realizing it before things progressed. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that gets worse with time. You did not cause it, you cannot cure it and you cannot control it. He has to do those things because he wants to, for him.
I encourage you to keep posting, you are not alone. Have you thought about Alanon?
I tell everyone, don't listen to a thing that comes out of an addicts mouth (they mean it alot of times but don't follow through), but look at their actions over the long term, that is where the truth comes in.
Good Luck and God Bless!