Gonna add my 2 cents since that has gone off track at times.
It's about the porn. My A seems unable to be intimate with me in the evening, and uninterested most mornings. The amount that he drinks varies, but he averages about 3 bottles of beer (the good, strong stuff), and about a bottle of wine per night, every night. I stopped initiating things when he told me that I "was doing it wrong for the past 21 years." I figured, he was on his own at that point. He tries about every 6 weeks, but is generally not successful.
My counselor friend and I have not been physical other than cuddles and kisses. The counselor that I started seeing yesterday. agreed that intimacy should be off the table right now so that I can get my head on straight. But I have to tell you, I find my friend very desirable right now, after months of nothing at home. I used to teach computers, so my friend asked me to check his laptop, as it seemed to be unable to play videos. But...he wouldn't bring up the vids that he was trying to watch, only random stuff on youtube and the networks. I could see where this was going, and checked out his machine, which seemed to play youtube and cbs.com just fine. "OK", he says and turns his laptop away so that I couldn't see the screen; fiddles with it a bit and looked very frustrated. Now, I don't have 3 Master's degrees like he does, however I am not stupid. When I got onto his machine again, suddenly, the video that he was interested in popped up and started playing. I backed off and laughed so hard, while he looked ashen and muttered "How did that get on there?"
I assured him that I really didn't care what he watched as long as everyone was an adult, and it just proved that he is still alive...down there. When or if the time is appropriate, I hope to provide the visual stimulation that he needs.
