Interesting stuff dragon lady, as I don't have a problem with porn either if he's watching it.
What was your sex life like when you were first dating? Had your libido dropped? We were as close to sexless as you can get for 9 years.
My drive was gone, his was getting channeled somewhere else..hidden porn and lots of online chats (gross disgusting sick) until it culminated into a real life encounter or two.
Here is what I have learned about me. When I found out about his affair, after I wanted to kill him (even though he stopped drinking) something PRIMAL kicked in and I went into "HE is MINE" overdrive and the sex was non stop for two months (tell you what, I did not see that coming). Have always wondered if he had JUST stopped drinking, what would have happened to our sex life.
Funny thing is, now that he is not drinking, his porn lust has dropped.