Hi MightyFlea. I was like Rachel - 10 yrs. more pathetic. I was a slow learner. The point is you are aware - and you are not willing to settle for this behavior. Some never see what drinking is doing to their lives, until it's too late.
I carried on that same way for many years. I walked my dog with a McDonald's cup filled with beer - stumbling along - I'm sure no one noticed.
Dashed into the grocery store bathroom for a fix so I wouldn't have to face the produce sober. I was drinking 24/7 in the end. What a ridiculous thing to do to ourselves. Here's where the madness can end.