Yes you are!
And so was I. And so were many, many other people who have turned their life around on this site.
At least you acknowledge that you were pathetic and I'm sure that you never want to be that person again. And that's the beauty of it. You don't HAVE to be.
You could draw a line under your pathetic behaviour of the past and commit to a wonderul future of sobriety.
I sound as if i've been sober for ages, but I haven't. Just 2 weeks. And if I sound a bit harsh, I think it's because I'm talking to my AV as well as responding to your post.
Let's never be that pathetic person EVER again.