what everyone is saying is you need a plan and support to break the cycle of addiction/quitting/relapse. You seem to realize you have a serious problem, but you still want everything your way, which doesn't seem to serve you well. I would encourage you to look at your motivations for being so suspicious of AA. It is really just groups of people sharing their experience, strength and hope. Sure there are some different flavors of meetings, and not all are going to appeal to everyone. If you want to quit drinking and get your life back, AA can help if you let it.
peace