Hey everyone my name is Brian and I'm an alcoholic. On October 24 2013 I walked out of a hospital after needing medical detox due to binge drinking for the third (?) time in my life. I didn't have but a few bucks in my pocket (not enough for the psychoactive med they had prescribed me to deal with the shakes and anxiety associated with alcohol withdrawl) and nowhere to go. I had walked out on my family several days prior in order to continue my binge drinking. At the time I didn't know if it would be the end. I didn't know if that episode were the last drinks I would have in life, I just knew I couldn't continue anymore and if I tried to keep going like I was I wasn't going to have much life left. I was broke and on the street. I didn't want to live and I didn't want to die. I didn't want to drink but like I said I couldn't imagine not drinking. With my head hung low, defeated and soundly thrashed I walked back into the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. Sorry some of you have heard this part of my story before and I don't want to be redundant. Anyway I went there looking for a man I had spent some time with on a dry spell a couple of years prior. I begged for help, pleaded. The other members related their experience and empathy but made it clear I was going to have to take action on my own. I asked the man I had been looking for to be my sponsor and he accepted. Fast forward 5 months and this is the longest I have been sober since I started using mind altering substances many years ago. It's not been all rainbows, I won't lie. My pink cloud fades and dissipates sometimes. I can tell you on my worst day it's better than it was a year ago. Definitely better than say 5 years ago! I got arrested on my 90th day sober(wreckage of the past- OWI from almost a year ago), I have to deal with lawyers, courts and an angry ex-spouse to see my daughter, my boss knows I am an alcoholic and was contemplating firing me for said OWI, etc. I could go on. But I don't have to drink over that stuff today. And for that I am very grateful. I thank God, my sponsor, my family, this website and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous for giving me something I never had when I was out there drinking. And that is hope. If there is one thing I would love to give a newcomer that I have gotten from sobriety so far, it would be that hope. Thank you for reading this!
