Originally Posted by
carmen220 
Who would say this to their girlfriend (so casually) that they claimed to love and claimed his family loved as well?
An emotional abuser would say this, yes. He finds humor in hurtful jokes, and then when the victim acts hurt or dares to call him on it, he turns it back on the victim. More deflection.
Unfortunately, I think his stretches of kindness are keeping you attached to this unhealthy relationship. It sounds like he keeps you pacified for a while and then attacks again. Have you asked yourself why you are willing to accept this from him?