Hangover is completely gone. No more anxiety. It was a killer yesterday. I'm pretty closeted about being an alcoholic/addict. Only family and some friends know. I can't tell them if I slip up because I end up being shunned for a period of time, or they'll try to put together some big intervention (for a slip up), and than they tell their friends. I'm in a small town and word spreads like wildfire. Overall not a good thing to confess, but also a very hard thing to hide. Thank you guys for listening and not judging.
Today was a good day. Mostly because I wasn't being judged or pitied. Had it been found out I slipped up other people in my life dwell on it for a long time. To any newcomers to recovery the best advice I can give is to move on. I could have spent today dwelling on the fact I messed up in a big way, and felt guilty and blah blah blah, but I didn't. I am human and I make mistakes. The past is the past.
I lost a lot of clean/sober time. I feel like that should bother me, but it doesn't. I had such a difficult time getting off drugs that I don't actually know the date I stopped on because I had to try so many times. I'm not gonna remember that I got sober again on 3/20/14 because it doesn't matter to me. I'm clean and sober now and that's what matters.