walking's right - you didn't pee on the couch. Please don't take on guilt and shame (consequences) that needs to rest on your husband's shoulders.
You don't need to know all the answers yet. But please get some help for yourself. Al-anon meetings are great - just go along to 6 to see if they are right for you. Get a copy of "co-dependent no more" too - you'll think it was written just for you, I bet.
Take care. Keep posting - now is the time for you to take all you want. Your time for giving advice will come. Believe me, I feel honoured to be able to pass on what I have learned. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.
Love
Minnie
xxx