Welcome to SR, Leyana. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You have found a place full of kind and understanding people who have been there. I hope you'll come back often and read the stories of many of us who understand your pain.
Actually, I don't feel like doing this any more.
You don't have to. You can walk away at any time. If you need help, there are resources available to you. You are still being abused even if he isn't putting his hands on you. You don't have to live like that.