lizatola

Agreeing here, for sure. I opened up my own checking account a few years ago and told AH I was doing it. He was upset, but I told him it was because a friend of mine had her husband suddenly pass away and she had no credit to her name, no accounts in her own name, etc. She really struggled to get her own independence started because she had been a stay at home mom and relied on him for everything. He understood once I told him and I also have opened 3 credit cards in my name only and I use them every so often to prove that I am establishing my own credit.

Here's the kicker about my friend, too: her husband was a diabetic and they had separated at one point because she was upset that he wasn't managing his disease. He wouldn't take his meds, he wasn't setting the right example for his kids, etc (you get the picture). Sounds familiar, right? Well, after a few months he promised he'd take his meds and work on getting healthy. He did....for a short period of time and then he started lying to her about it. A few months later he died in a car crash, sent an 18 year old to the ICU for months, all because he wasn't taking care of his disease. He went into diabetic shock while he was driving, lost control of his car, and left behind 4 kids and a homeschooling stay at home mom.

It's amazing when I remember her story and I see the parallels between how we live as spouses of alcoholics and how she struggled being married to a diabetic. She's also one of the friends I have who I see has gained so much strength and perseverance after her husband's death. Her kids adjusted over time and she went back to school to get her nursing degree. She just graduated this year and found a full time job a few months ago. Life does move on for all of us, and your kids will adjust and accept what is going on, too, over time. Hugs and prayers for your family as you guys go through this transition!