Well, I guess yesterday he had the big realization. He apparently was in a really bad frame of mind. He came and told our girls it's official. He told them I am a good person and that I stuck it out for years and could not do it anymore and that was his fault. He was crying so he left. Now I know that is why my girls were crying, but by the time I got home they were ok. We went and had some retail therapy LOL (like I really need to be spending money, geez).
The people from Celebrate Recovery texted me how to get to his sisters number as he had apparently sent a message to his friend at CR that alarmed him. Luckily he was fine, I spoke to his sister who said he was fine. The lovely people at CR said I should not worry about it, they are his support system, not me and that I just need to take care of me and my girls. If they were in front of me I would have hugged them tight. What a wonderful bunch of people, they are AMAZING.
He is taking the girls to a habachi restaurant tonight, they have never been so that will be fun for them. He told them he is going to have to move his stuff out soon (yay) and on the phone this morning when speaking about the kids was decent to me. It is just going to be ups and downs and I realize that. Older daughter asked when her counseling appt is, that is good. It's next Tuesday so that will help her.
Tonight I will get some down time without the kids to just hang out by myself and breathe. Going to clean house and bathe my dog lol.
I know it's going to be ok. I also know I have a freedom inside me I have not felt for years. Last night when I was at the mall I was not worried about what was he doing, I was not worried about what time to get home or any of it. It was just hanging out with my girls on our time, and that's a great thing.
Kids have both been sleeping w/me (and dog). Little daughter popped up and said, "It's too crowded in here, I am going back to my bed." I about fell over. It took us years to get her to sleep in her own bed and I thought she would be in mine now until college LOL. Surprise Surprise.
I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Thank you for letting me ramble on and all the support you lovelies have given me, I cannot tell you how much it means.
XXX