...and hopeful... I can promise you, standing a year out from the split... my kids still have issues and concerns, but they have JOY. They have peace, they have a safe, consistent home, and they can relax. It's the single best gift I ever gave them. I can't believe I held it back for so long.
I know how heartbreaking it is to watch them as they struggle. At times I thought it would break me. Other times I thought it was all that kept me going.
You're doing amazing things, for them AND for you. Thank yourself today. (By my math they'll thank you in about 22 more years, so you should start sooner.) They were going to feel this agony somehow...whether delayed in small pieces or ripped off at once. And they know you love them.
Smile at yourself today. Try to release your guilt, your intentions are pure.
More prayers and hugs...