Nice letter.
I have the same drinking pattern as you. and can go weeks or even a month or 2 without drinking.. then I think I'll be fine drink one night but then I feel so gross I know drinking again is the only way to feel better and it goes on for a few days.. then end up recovering for a few days as well. It's crazy how we repeat a cycle that makes us feel so bad. Good luck on this and I'm with you.