But before I do, I need to catch my breath and write to you.
Yes, I am mostly no contact. I just exchange emails with him when the children need eye glasses, dental care and shoes.
In the last exchange I did also point out he's been living 3 months in our 6 bedroom house with no housemates while he refuses to pay to get DD7's cavities filled.
Response? I get 3 paragraphs about how hard he's tried to rent rooms but the rental market is bad.
So on a whim I checked out the housing websites he mentions advertising for housemates in and - you got it! He posted the ads March 17, the day he received my email! We have lost $10,000 - $15,000 in potential rental revenue this year while until I find a job, I can't make ends meet in the 22% of his income we receive in alimony/child support. In the meantime someone sent me a photo of a party Xah just held at our house last weekend.
He is maintaining his luxurious lifestyle knowing his children are squeezed in a tiny apartment with me and have holes in their shoes.
Why bother with the email? Because for the first time I can succinctly state what needs stating without feeling terrified or crazy.
I don't think there is any getting through to him but this mother bear will perservere for her children. I want that email to show the court, family and myself the way he is lying and hoarding resources while we go without. Even if no one listens. Wrongs need addressing.
If you all tell me to say nothing I will be disappointed in you. I am sick of being victimized. It has been 18 months since our separation and I am largely over feeling terrified of Xah and his lawyers. No one has helped us, not the doctors, therapists, social workers, family, lawyers or judges.
Our divorce is scheduled for mid May. In the meantime, I am sick of waiting for justice and I don't see why I shouldn't identify the lying and manipulation and financial abuse when I see it.
Rant complete for the moment. Left with overwhelming repulsion, disgust.
Thank you darlings.
