yeah KF85 that was one hard thing for me to learn with AH too.. to not offer or give in. I used to feel literally sorry for him because he had spent all his money, until the day that i got so resentful that HE was spending, spending, spending and i had to go without food to feed the kids instead. That day, i stopped giving him... i just didnt offer any more. He too would ask me "did you take money" and it was oh so hard to just say "no i didn't" and leave it there. To not offer an alternative, to not offer replacement.. to just stop.
Now, he will often ask me for money, but i dont give him any cash at all any more (actually that is a lie, i gave him £10 the other night to go and get something for dinner but i asked to see the receipt and his face was a picture when i had a perfectly good reason to ask for the change), if he says "can i have x for y" i say, ok, ill grab you some when i go out later, you can wait til then. It drives him nuts, but, he has a personal allowance, he doesnt contribute financially to the household (or in any other way).. so tough luck on him. My standard go to reply when he gets too pi$$y with me is "ask your mum". When he whines, i just try and ignore him.
Of course, in my head, this all isnt as clear cut and simple as it sounds when i just typed all that out, i have a million different voices running through my head, joining in with his vitriol but as i said in my earlier post, today im not boarding the crazy train.