Originally Posted by
KF85 
I actually have thought of myself as codependent and this makes me doubt that I "actually" am. I'm more just weak. Scared. Nervous. I see my faults. I worry about him too much, but this shows codependency goes beyond just worrying about someone else too much.
KF85......I would agree with you that a codependent isn't "weak". If anything they are almost the opposite of weak. I also think that stating that you are "weak" is a harsh and perhaps unfair self assessment......or perhaps not....only you can decide. I would use words like "kind hearted" or "overly fair to others" (often to their own detriment).
Often a codependent considers themselves (and others do too) as "strong enough to handle it" and they will go to some unusual lengths to "handle it". I "handled it" for everyone around me. Everyone depended on Kindeyes.....she was the steady one.....the dependable one.....the one who always came through.....the one who knew the answers.....the one who tried to control all that was negative and turn it into a positive. Until she just couldn't do it anymore......my life became unmanageable.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart...... I'll always be with you.” ~Winnie the Pooh
Just like talking about addiction brings light to the subject, talking about codependence brings it out of the closet. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I know a lot of codependents and they are some of the nicest people you'd ever want to know.....
Codependents who understand, admit, and work on their codependent traits are some of the most authentic people I know.
gentle hugs
ke