I often wonder if my codependent traits would have laid dormant for years or come out at some point in my life WITHOUT my daughter's help. Or was I even codependent at all until this situation with her?
I've always said it's sooooooooooo not fair that I feel I'm paying for HER addiction. That my life is so out of control because of HER addiction. That I feel totally helpless and unable to get it together because of HER addiction.
Would I have gone along fat and happy without her illness, or am I fooling myself into thinking I was emotionally healthy, and really wasn't? Was it simply the nature of our relationship (parent/child) that was the catalyst?
Maybe I'm blowing smoke up my you-know-what, but I honestly think if it wasn't my child (or probably my husband) I could walk away, no problem. Is that the denial talking...or truth?
This is so crazy-making!!