Wow I really needed to read this post right now. My ah left for rehab two weeks ago(only after getting arrested) and me 'detaching' and not allowing him to come back to our home. Anyway I have basically have had enough and I am finally getting off the roller coaster. Moving in with my parents(I have two young kids) and selling our home etc. anyway my ah cannot stand or deal with the fact that I am done and I need to focus on myself and the kids for a long time. I will always support him in recovery but I refuse to lie and say everything is going to be fine between us. Just so selfish of him to even expect any sort of answer about 'us' at this point. Typical addict selfishness. I do have to say it feels really good to focus on me.