Originally Posted by
thatcat 
To me, powerless means it takes over my thoughts. I can't stop thinking about that drink and how good it feels.
Thatcat, you put your finger (paw
) on it. Not sure if you go to AA, but this is something that is described and explained very clearly in the AA's big book.
Basically, the idea outlined in the book describes the powerlessness we have before taking a drink because of the obsession of the mind. This is not rational stuff! It's clear to most of us, if we wind the tape back, what happened when we took a drink. When the obsession was up and running, certainly for me, that cut no ice whatsoever, until I clicked - ahhh, that's what it is. Understanding that for what it was a big step toward staying sober for me.
Whatever plan or programme you have for staying sober, it's essential to have something other than hanging on for dear life. For me it's AA and a school of philosophy which teaches Advaita, and lots of reading.
One thing at a time is good though, and gently does it
Wish you well