dukes44

I have been struggling for the last five years or so. I am getting by at work and have a wonderful family. But I cannot seem to stop drinking a bottle, or even two, of wine each night. I am hungover the vast majority of days. My self-loathing is completely undermining me.

It seems like almost every day I promise that I will stop drinking and it just does not stop. Unfortunately, my wife drinks a lot too. For years, I have secretly blamed her but this is my problem and nobody is at fault other than me.

I am posting here today to hopefully get some support and at least in someway publoicly acknowledge that I am committed to quitting drinking. Honestly, I am a bit scared.

I have three awesome boys and I have to stop being such a horrible example. My eight year old this morning told me that I get drunk a lot. That absolutely has crushed me. I am so upset at myself for getting to this point.

I apologize for the rambling post but I feel a little bit alone in this...

However, I am not going to drink tonight -- even if I have to stay in the safety of my office.

Thanks for any advice anyone can offer!