Originally Posted by
keepingthefaith 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oint-view.html
Emotional abuse. I have a very hard time writing that and not deleting the term.
Both of us are ill.
I'm relieved because I'm not crazy.
Why do I want the blinders back on?
I am not a victim. I am not going to live like this. I am healing.
I'm not divorcing him. I am willing to separate from him for my own sanity, if need be.
You are doing really well accepting that things are not what you thought they were/hope they were and recognizing that it is not healthy to live in that environment.
Maybe you think wearing those blinders and keeping the status quo is easier than changing? Change is hard. Change is scary. Change takes us out of own familiar comfort zone (even a comfort zone that can be unhealthy for us). Change is unknown.
You are not a victim anymore because you know what's up now. It is your choice to allow it to continue or change it. Challenging or Changing your situation IS in your best interest and those of your kids still a home.
Since you are opening your eyes to what is happening, maybe you open your options up? You don't have to seek a divorce ever, but maybe don't close the door either.
You deserve love, peace and happiness.