Moving On
Hi out there in SR Land. Today is a good day. After a year of almost daily stalking I finally decided to register on Sober Recovery. Let me quickly introduce myself. I have been married for over 22 years to an alcoholic. Some of those years were wonderful, but over the past ten years he's grown deeper into his addiction, embarking on a series of infidelities, and growing farther away from his daughter and myself. Finally, with much support from Al-anon, and my daughter (a member of Al-anon as well), I made the decision to pull the Crazy Train into the station one last time. I filed for divorce, and my daughter and I have just moved into our new home.
Although I'm excited about the future I'm also apprehensive. I care greatly for my husband, and hate to see the downward trajectory that he's on. He, on the other hand, seems to be blissfully happy with his newfound freedom. No Mommy-Wife keeping tabs. He's even got a girlfriend that he says "takes good care of him". Sounds like a new Mommy-Wife in the making...
And this, my friends, is where things get difficult: Somehow, after 22 years, of waiting, and worrying, and freaking out, and all the associated PTSD that comes with loving an addict, I have to let go. Let Go. I have to let his path be his path, so that my path can be my path. I know this, I've done the readings, I go to the meetings, but it's so hard to know where to begin.
i guess I'll start here!