Dear Mitts
I can totally understand what you are going through, I'm 29 and was molested by my grandparents and then suffered physical abuse by my step father till I went into care at 12, I didn't remember much about the molestation it was only when I went into care and experienced normal love that things started to click in my mind, I have had various therapies over the years to deal with the trauma, flashbacks but I personally find therapy very risky I don't blame the therapists they see you for an allocated time, get you to open pandoras box and then the session ends, I often left these sessions feeling like a hurt child, my emotions were all over the place, to cope I turned to alcohol, at first the drink helped numb the pain but eventually I began to have worse flashbacks in intoxication, got violent and was a regular with the police for a while, I'm deeply ashamed of this but thankfully I'm trying to leave the false help that I though the drink gave .
I really hope therapy helps you, abuse can mold you and give you strength of character you NEVER THOUGHT YOU HAD, I'm due to start therapy again but will not go down my past unless I feel I'm ready to go there..at the moment I know I'm not I will drink again and end up in this vicious cycle.
I send you my deepest thoughts, I will not say I feel sorry because that can sound and make you feel like a weak animal I am however hear to listen and offer advise
we are all indivual and deal with things differently but this site will HELP YOU I only joined yesterday and already feel at peace knowing if I am having the day from hell I can come on here and feel no longer alone, I'm with real people, who have lived through the nightmare of addiction and pain, not some professional who has studied it for years
all my love
countrysidegirl