EmmyG

Not sure where to begin, but my husband has a problem with alcohol. Most of the time, he completely avoids it, because he knows what happens when he drinks. We don’t buy alcohol, and on the rare occasion that we have some in the house, he doesn’t touch it. He doesn’t touch it when he goes out with me, either. But periodically, he tries drinking normally again – usually when he’s with other guys, and it ends in disaster almost every time. He acts like a jerk, he got a DUI, he gets hurt, etc. This last weekend, he went for a few beers and wound up in the ER after having a seizure from doing coke. They found a cyst in his head that seems to have made him more sensitive. He’s from the UK and grew up around very heavy drinking.

So last night, we talked about all of this. He said he wants to see a psychologist, but not a drug/alcohol counselor. He’s seen a couple of those in the past, and they never believe him when he says he doesn’t crave alcohol every day. They tell him he must be in denial. When he has tried AA, everyone talks about how hard it is to get through a day without drinking, and he cannot relate. He said to me “I don’t like to fail. I always find a way to conquer things. I just want to be normal. I want to go out to the pub, have a few pints, and get up the next morning like my dad always could and like every other guy I know can. It’s not about needing alcohol. It’s about needing to be NORMAL. Every time I do it, I’m not thinking about hurting you guys because I’m thinking ‘this time will be different.’ I need to find a therapist who gets that.” He also said maybe he’s delusional, and this is what all alcoholics think. Can anyone relate to this? Do you think it’s true or is he delusional?