makomago

Emotional detachment is a something I did for many years too, not only did I think it was healthy I thought it was an art, a skill even. I don't believe that today)!

I guess in some way that this learned behaviour stems from the family moto of don't trust, don't feel. The only way I found to not feel was to detach emotionally when things when I needed to protect myself. It was a trait learned and practiced for years - I just hope it is not too ingrained!

I find that during conflict this detachment, or isolating becomes almost physical in the sense that however hard I try to open up I get stuck. Like some physical manifestation of fear that acts like a clamp on my ability to speak or reattach to the situation i.e. It onsets by habit and is difficult for me to overcome.

That said, I'd say it is easier to deal with now because of my recovery in AA - it happens less. my drinking has ceased and as a person I am less intolerant, less badly behaved and as a result less conflict arises.

Mark