I am posting from the other side of the fence, my husband is the alcoholic. I think in the past I have looked at it that way because his behavior has left me to take care of him and our entire household. Yes, that was my enabling him, which is my own issue that made it even worse. Now, I am tired of being a mother to him, I wanted a husband. I did not realize he wanted a mother. I see maturity as being wise, telling the truth, taking care of your obligations and children. I don't see that in my husband's alcoholic behavior.
I think the clincher for me is feeling like I cannot entrust my children to ride in a car with my husband. My 8 and 14 year olds have been traumatized by his behaviors of the past. How is that showing responsibility and maturity?
Now, this is just my family. I know there are many alcoholics that do take care of their household tasks, etc. This is just my view on it for my own personal situation. One of the things I am actively working on is trying to have more empathy for substance abusers and the reasons it happens.
I truly mean no disrespect as I am trying to understand both sides of things. I see as an entire nation/world substance abuse and alcoholism are out of control. I wish I knew the answer but I don't.
God Bless.