(((((nc)))))
I am confused about your relationships. I thought I read earlier that you are dating around...I think I said before that if you want to be clean that it is best to focus on getting sober before starting a relationship. But if you are already in a relationship that is another story. Some people do break relationships when they decide to get clean other remain involved. Only you can evaluate what you need to do about this relationship. Do think you can get sober if you continue this relationship? Have you talked to him about your desire to get clean?
It sounds like you are trying to get things organized in your mind before you get clean.But, really if you want to be clean that has to come first because your thinking will change and things that seem important to you right now might not be so important when you step into reality. I would like to reccomend that you just get sober first and see where you land with that....